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Others may have had penetrative sex but not “count” it for one reason or another.
Still others may have never so much as held hands with someone who wasn’t a family member.
Men are under as a rite of passage to adulthood is a deeply entrenched one; thus, men carry around the idea that you are still just a boy until you’ve managed to actually ejaculate into another person’s vagina, no matter how old you may be equates virginity with childhood.
Steve Carrell’s character may be middle-aged with a steady job, a sizable apartment, a car and presumably relatively debt free…
but because he’s never managed to actually penetrate a woman, he’s still obsessed with “childish” things.
Meanwhile, we live in a culture that glorifies male sexual conquests even as it pathologizes male sexuality.
There is no difference between a person who has had sex and someone who hasn’t.
Even a woman’s hymen is no demarcator of virginity; many will rupture their hymen long before they’ve had penetrative vaginal intercourse.
Wilt Chamberlin may have been a great basketball player, but he’s for his supposed number of conquests. Sure, he may have created one of the most iconic rock bands in history and written songs that continue to resonate with each generation of listeners… For them, sex is commodified as an equivalent to purity: the less sex she has had, the higher her value.
The fear of reaching is who is a virgin past a certain point – generally as soon as puberty hits, if we’re honest about it – is convinced that they’re on the cusp of reaching some nebulous “point of no return”.
That deadline – the idea we have to lose our virginity by X date or remain forever unfuckable – tends to vary; we tend to put undue importance on arbitrary dates because they carry totemic significance for us.
Some may become bitter and resentful, feeling as though they’re being cheated of something that they’re rightfully “owed”.
Others will have their pre-existing approach anxiety ramped up to near pathological levels, leaving them with anxiety attacks and a crippling shyness around people they’re attracted to.